FORGET THE MID LIFE CRISIS, I'M COPING WITH MY OLD LADY CRISIS!

WHAT MID LIFE CRISIS?

When I turned 40 I have to confess I wondered what all the fuss was about. Where was the Mid Life Crisis everyone talked about. There was plenty of time left, physically I never felt better in my life, and basically I was in a good place emotionally. I went through my 40's in much the same vein. I do admit before turning 50 I had pause for thought. But then the Big birthday came and went and I really didn't feel any different. And then.....

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE MENTION THE OLD LADY CRISIS?

Somewhere in my mid 50's I woke up one morning with a new awareness. It felt like it was overnight, but when I thought about it, it had been creeping up on me slowly. Little things like a finger that didn't want to bend anymore, having to stand up slowly because my back was "acting up" again, or catching my leg bent at the wrong angle and being shocked to see the "old lady skin" that I had never seen before. Quickly I straightened my leg out and it was gone, but I knew it was still lurking there, waiting to appear again...and maybe the next time to stay.

I began spending long moments studying my face in the mirror, picturing it like one of those aged enhanced photos, trying to determine what my old lady face would look like. And began to wonder if I should find a place to get one of those photos done and stop all the guess work!

WHERE DID ALL THE TIME GO?

But slowly I began to realize this was not a vanity thing. My real apprehension, nervousness, and depression was not about my appearance! Finally a month or two after my 57th birthday I became aware of the passage of time...and how little time might be left. What happened to all those things I was so sure I'd do? Where was that book I was so sure I'd find the time to write? Was that cruise ship still waiting for me, calling my name. Would I ever feel the sea breeze on my face? I'd been to Germany once, with very little money, and had vowed to get back to Europe, visit London and Paris, and more importantly the home town my Grandparents came from in Denmark. Would it ever happen now?

I'D BETTER HURRY!!!

A new sense of urgency over took me. I began stashing money back any chance I got to do some of the things that I'd always wanted to do. Carving time out of my day just for me to write or paint took on new importance. And I caught myself revamping Frank Sinatra's "Regrets" song to go "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again too many to mention".

REGRETS?

Finally, with old age still hanging over my head like a dark cloud that would just not budge, I began to take stock of my life. I went back over some of the happiest moments in my life and found none of them had anything to do with personal achievement, money or travel. Instead, they all seemed to revolve around the very simplist of things with people I loved. Like the time when my brother and I as teenagers wanted ice cream floats, but lacking the money we took what empty soda bottles we had and picked up more along the country road on the way to the store, finally coming up with enough to buy the ice cream and sodas for our floats...the best one I ever had! Or the time I had a flat tire on a dirt road near my home. I was so relieved when I saw my father had come along the same route. He wanted to deliver a rick of wood before fixing my flat and I went along. I helped him unload the wood on a beautiful autumn day and I don't know why, but that is right up there with one of my best memories. Maybe it was as simple as having my father to myself for a few hours on such a beautiful day, no small accomplishment with eleven kids in the family!

REGRETS...MAYBE THERE WERE TOO FEW TO MENTION!

I think I've learned something from my Old Lady Crisis. Maybe it was important to take stock of my life and remember my dreams. It is important to work on those dreams that have been so important to me. However, it's just as important to lose the sense of urgency. I don't know anyone who has accomplished all of their dreams. More importantly, while working on all of the things I've always wanted to do, I have to remember to continue to enjoy the scenery!